Freedom

I thinnk its amazing that in a matter of hours my life had a complete turn around.
Last night at youth group, I experienced something so real so true and so genuine.
God let me experience the wonderful feeling of being emersed in his presence.
I have wanted to feel something for song long. Last night I cried and had a reason, and smiled and had a reason. We sang a song that said im gonna love a little deeper than before, and I am. God is my only happiness and is all the happiness I need. I know that its going to get tens times harder now that Ive experienced this, but I refuse to be bitter and I refuse to let my past control me. I thank God so much for letting me feel something, and feel what I needed to; an overflowing of love and grace.
My uncle said a phrase that totally hit home to me. Insecurity leads to jealousy which leads to contentment, which eventually leads to hatred and being bitter. My whole problem led to my insecurities, and if I can get rid of my insecurities I'd be alot better off!
I wish everyone around me could understand this. My goal right now is to make everyone ask why im so happy... If people could understand the capacity of grace their lifes would never be the same. Stop looking at the hypocricy in the church, but look at the reason why you go to church. People are just that people. God is higher than all that. He loves the hypocrite just as much as he loves someone completely devoted to him. God got dirty because we're dirty (that was such a good word last night!) He gave his life for the hypocrites. He gave his life for people like me that were major hypocrites. Its more than believing its doing. My God is still on the throne and he is still the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the same God I encountered when I was little as he was last night. THrough everything he has been there. Waiting patiently, and he would have continued to wait, cause im important and special to him; no matter what my sin. I can't say enough I wish everyone could get this. I'm not saying that from today on im going to be the perfect example of a Christian, what I am saying is that Im going to learn to experience and take God's grace and trust in him to deal with my issues.