backpeddling.

I stayed home from school today sick :/ Im ridiculously congested and after smacking my head and NOSE on a wall this morning walking in the dark and throwing up right after I decided maybe I should take the day off. So I watched a 90's movie called Down to You with Julia Stiles and swear 90's movies are terrible. I really want to clean my room and re organize but i know half way through ill get bored and just quit and itll be messier than it was before....
I want a good book to read and think I may re read an old one by Nicholas Sparks that I liked. I really want to read eclipse but i can't get my hands on a copy and im too cheap to buy it, i wasted my money on stuff for the party on saturday, but it was well worth it :) I really want to be 18 so i can get one of my vices ha.
So im almost positive tomorrow is going to suck. I don't want it to suck but I also just don't want it to be just another day. I'd rather it be horrible then just another day.
I haven't had a diet pepsi all day and its killing me... but im too lazy to take a shower and get ready to go out and get one, plus 1.50 adds up lol
I want someone to come randomly see me and eat icecream with me :)
Half Bake Ben and Jerry's my favorite.
I really need to get on finding a job....bad.
I'm ready for May and snowcones and graduation and moving so bad.
I'm having terrible mood swings.
Still haven't felt anything,
and yesterday a friend told me... if youre searching to feel what you felt youre never gonna get it don't dissapoint your self, after some more of that conversation , he said that feeling is going to be real to you again only ten times better if you just wait.
I am NOT a patient person, and im almost happy if I just get the artificial feeling, even though I know I shouldn't... bleh im a mess.
I know how to fix the problem just can't stick to it.
Went a month strong and now im backpeddling.